upworthy
Family

Pediatrician shares two simple tips that could save a child's life at a pool party

"The more folks present, the safer the pool is, right? Wrong."

pool party
Photo by Ash Dowie on Unsplash

If there's a body of water anywhere, a designated adult needs to have their eyes on it.

It's that time of year when the weather across the country is warm enough for families to enjoy outdoor barbecues, picnics and pool parties. That means it's also the time of year when tragedy will strike a certain percentage of families who get blindsided by how quickly and easily a child can drown in a backyard pool, even when they're surrounded by people who care about them and their safety.

We've all been at a gathering where adults are coming and going, chatting, setting up food, taking trips to the bathroom, all while kids are busy playing in the water. In such scenarios, it's easy to assume that someone else is keeping an eye on the pool.

But as pediatrician Diane Arnaout has shared, the harrowing reality is that the more people there are at a pool party the more likely it is that a child could slip into the pool or become distressed in the water without anyone noticing.

In a Facebook post that has been shared more than 77,000 times, Dr. Arnaout wrote:


"The more folks present, the safer the pool is, right?

Wrong.

The more people present, the more DISTRACTIONS or ASSUMPTIONS.

Do not assume someone is watching over your kid.

Do not assume that older kids will help out smaller kids.

Do not assume that there is a commotion with drowning.

Do not assume your small child is hanging out inside the house (they wander outside, and to the pool).

Drowning is silent, quick, and devastating. There is no splashing. There is no crying out. There is no screaming."

When people picture someone drowning, they often imagine flailing arms and splashing in the water, and maybe someone crying out for help when they get their mouth above water. But that's not how it looks at all. It's calm, quiet and easy to not notice if someone isn't watching for it.

That's why Arnaout suggests two prevention tips that can increase the chance of catching a kid in trouble in a pool before the situation becomes dire.

"If you or your friends are getting together this summer and a pool is involved (EVEN A LITTLE TODDLER BLOW-UP POOL, OR A WATER SLIDE WITH A COLLECTION POOL AT THE BOTTOM), you MUST assign a person to watch the kids.

My friends and I have come up with two plans:

1) everybody chips in $10 and we hire a lifeguard for the party

2) We are all assigned the WATER WATCHER BAND - you can get these at my office or make one of your own. The person who wears it is in charge of watching the water at all times. Trade it out with someone else every 15-20 minutes.

This assures the kids are observed constantly!"

The Water Watcher bands she has pictured are something her facility gives out, but she explained that people can make their own. And it doesn't have to be a bracelet—just anything that signifies a specific person as a designated pool watcher.

"Please remember that this concept could be something as easy as a scrunchie on the wrist, a rubber ball or toy to hold, or a plastic lanyard around the neck," Arnaout wrote in a comment. "The point is—the person wearing or holding it is committed to being completely distraction-free: no phones, no conversing with others, and completely focused on the pool. Remember the LAYERS of protection you can give your kids: education by talking to them about pool safety, swim lessons, lifejackets (US Coast Guard approved), and observation!"

The no distractions part is huge. A pool watcher should be watching the pool. Adults can take turns in 15 or 20-minute increments even, as long as someone is tasked with the job is watching the water.

Comments on Arnaout's post are filled with the loved ones of children who have drowned or nearly drowned in pools, and their stories are devastating. It happens much more easily than people think, which is why it's vital to take proactive precautionary measures and not assume that because a group is full of responsible adults someone will notice a child drowning. It happens too fast and too quietly, even when adults are nearby. A designated person to watch the pool and know what to look for is one of the best ways to prevent such tragedies from occurring.

SafeKids.org has a Water Watcher Card you can print yourself:

From Your Site Articles
pool safety
Joy

Under or over? There actually is a 'right' way to hang a toilet paper roll.

The debate is settled, once and for all.

Elya/Wikimedia Commons

Should you hang the toilet paper roll over or under?

Humans have debated things large and small over the millennia, from democracy to breastfeeding in public to how often people ought to wash their sheets. But perhaps the most silly-yet-surprisingly heated household debate is the one in which we argue over which way to hang the toilet paper roll.

The "over or under" question has plagued marriages and casual acquaintances alike for over 100 years, with both sides convinced they have the soundest reasoning for putting their toilet paper loose end out or loose end under. Some people feel so strongly about right vs. wrong TP hanging that they will even flip the roll over when they go to the bathroom in the homes of strangers.

Contrary to popular belief, it's not merely an inconsequential preference. According to health experts and the man who invented the toilet paper roll, there is actually a "correct" way to hang toilet paper.

What is the correct way to hang a roll of toilet paper?

First, let's be clear about what we're even talking about here with a visual. In the image below, left is "over" and right is "under."

toilet paper, bathrooms, over or under, toilet roll, bathroom etiquetteToilet paper hung "over" (left) and "under" (right)Elya/Wikimedia Commons


So which one is the right way? According to health experts, "over" is the way to go.

"One key to maintaining a hygienic washroom is minimising contact between people and surfaces," Dr. Christian Moro, associate professor of health sciences and medicine at Bond University on Australia's Gold Coast, told Australian Broadcasting Corporation. "Depending on the type of roll holder, [hanging the toilet paper "over"] often lowers the chance that a user will touch the wall behind when fishing for paper, leaving germs behind on that surface which can be spread to the next user."

Picture it: Grabbing the end of the toilet paper when it's hung "over" means you only touch the part of the toilet paper you're going to use. When it's "under," you sometimes have to fish for it or scrape your fingers on the wall in order to grab the loose end. In addition to whatever might be on people's hands already, think about all the people who wipe twice, potentially transferring fresh fecal matter or other bacteria to the wall on the second pass, which then get picked up by other people who inadvertently touch that wall when trying to grab their TP.

Theoretically, we all should have become better hand washers during the pandemic, scrubbing with soap for the full 20 seconds it takes to remove bacteria. But I wouldn't be willing to bet on it.

toilet paper, empty toilet paper roll, batthroom, bathroom etiquette, over or underEmpty toilet paper roll.via Canva/Photos

And touching any surface in a bathroom is pretty nasty, according to a study from the University of Colorado. As Inc. reported: "Using a high-tech genetic sequencing tool, researchers identified 19 groups of bacteria on the doors, floors, faucet handles, soap dispensers, and toilets of 12 public restrooms in Colorado — six men’s restrooms and six women’s restrooms. Many of the bacteria strains identified could be transmitted by touching contaminated surfaces."

Bacteria means things like e.coli, which is a common source of food poisoning and one of the most common bacteria found on bathroom surfaces in the study. If you've ever had a bout of food poisoning, I'm sure you'll agree that a toilet paper roll hanging preference isn't worth risking it.

But sanitary health concerns aren't the only argument for the "over" camp. After all, the original patent for the toilet paper roll, issued in 1891, clearly shows the TP in the "over" position. Thank you for the clarity right from the get go, Mr. Wheeler.

toilet paper, bathrooms, over or under, toilet roll, bathroom etiquetteThe toilet paper roll was patented by Seth Wheeler in 1891.Public Domain


In Wheeler's patent, the perforated toilet paper hangs on a roll in the "over" position. In the words of the patent, the sheets of TP are “partially separated, having their points of attachment arranged in a novel manner, whereby each sheet will easily separate from the series as it is drawn from the roll, there being no litter occasioned, and any waste of paper is thereby prevented.”

Now, before the "under" folks come running with their pitchforks, there are some understandable exceptions to the "over" rule. Namely: cats and kids.

If you have a furry friend or a tiny toddler who likes to unroll the toilet paper roll, "over" makes it super fun for them, while "under" stops them in their tracks. For many people, cats and kids are the primary motivator of their TP hanging habits.

That doesn't change the fact that "over" is actually the "correct" way to hang toilet paper according to health science and the inventor's intention, of course, but "under" is certainly preferable to having a pile of TP on the floor.

Now go forth, do that with information as you will, and try to make peace with your over vs. under rivals.

This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles
toilet paper
Pop Culture

Fans boo after 'Wheel of Fortune' contestant gets 'unfair' puzzle with worth $1 million

The fans couldn't keep their cool.

via Wheel of Fortune/YouTube

Contestant gets a very tough 'Wheel of Fortune' puzzle.

The usually respectful crowd at a “Wheel of Fortune” taping aired on Wednesday, May 22, couldn’t hold back after they felt that a puzzle given to finalist Rob Dodson was too harsh. A big reason for their outrage (and why the puzzle was so tricky) was because $1 million was on the line.

Before the puzzle, Dodson chose from a selection of cards that held the prize he would win for solving it. Amongst the cards was the $1 million jackpot, so, understandably, tensions were high. Did Dodson choose the million-dollar card? Will he solve the puzzle under the “What Are You Doing Category”?

Well, things didn’t start too great.

After the usual R, S, T, L, N, and E were put up on the board, Dodson was looking at “_ _ _ _ _ L _ N _.” He quickly guessed C, H, P and A, none of which appeared on the board. He then guessed “funneling” and “finding,” but they didn’t work.

The final answer: “Quibbling.”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

After the solution to the puzzle was revealed, the audience began to boo because they didn’t think it was fair. It had 2 Bs in the short answer, started with a Q and was a word that isn’t used often in casual conversation. The crowd’s reaction was an excellent show of support for Dodson, who encouraged the crowd to keep going by raising his hands.

Host Pat Sajak, 77, pushed back against the boos, jokingly asking the audience, “Who asked you?”

So, would Dobson have won the $1 million if he guessed quibbling? Nope. The card he chose would have earned him an Infiniti car if he had guessed correctly. But all in all, it wasn’t a bad outing for Dodson, a father of 2 from Aurora, Ohio. He managed to win $33,500 against Venetia Brown ($7,550) and Jessica Huffman ($2,000).

The tough puzzle earned a lot of boos on social media as well. Twitter was lit up with people who thought that Dodson got cheated by being given a challenging puzzle with a word seldom used in conversation.



Big changes are in store for “Wheel of Fortune” in the coming weeks. The final episode with Sajak as host will air on June 7. Sajak has been the host of “Wheel” since 1981. Vanna White, his co-host since 1982, will remain with the show. “I couldn’t be happier to have shared the stage with you for all these years with one more to come," she wrote on X last year after Sajak announced this would be his last season. "Cheers to you."


Sajak has been a beloved host on "Wheel of Fortune," earning 19 Daytime Emmy Award nominations for Outstanding Game Show Host and winning three times. In 2019, he set a Guinness World Record for the longest career as a game show host for the same show, beating the previous record held by Bob Barker.

ryan seacrest, seacrest out, uso, wheel of fortune, tv personalitiesRyan Seacrest, television and radio host and producer, hosts the 2016 USO Gala, Washington, D.C., Oct. 20, 2016.via Jim Greenhill from McLean, USA/Wikimedia Commons

A familiar face replaced Sajak, Ryan Seacrest, best known for his work on “American Idol” and “Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Year's Eve.” "I can't wait to continue the tradition of spinning the wheel and working alongside the great Vanna White," he said after it was announced he was the new host. So, how did he do after taking over the coveted role of host? The first week that Seacrest took over for Sajack, the ratings took a giant leap, bringing in the most viewers since 2015, making it he number one syndicated show that week. Time will tell if Seacrest can replace Sajak's magic, but he has time; reports show that he has signed on for the gig into the 2030s.

This article originally appeared last year and has been updated.

From Your Site Articles
wheel of fortune
Education

Simple '30-second rule' can help you win every conversation, even if you're a little awkward

You only have to remember one thing.

via Canva/Photos

A man and two women having a fun conversation.

Babbel's Biggest Sale of the Year: Get 65% off for Memorial Day!


There’s no one alive who doesn’t feel some anxiety about making small talk with other people. The difference is that some confront their fears because they know the incredible benefits that it can mean for their social life, romantic prospects, and careers, while some shy away and miss out on many opportunities.

Many people who avoid small talk believe those who excel at it are naturally charismatic or have been blessed with the “gift of gab.” However, many great conversationalists honed their skills and have a set of rules, techniques, and strategies they use when speaking to people, just like how people who do improvisational comedy or acting have a set of rules to follow to put everyone on the same page. Confident, sociable people may make engaging with others look effortless, but that’s because they have a strategy.

conversation, fun office, men and woman, funny conversation, jokes, levityA group of coworkers having a laugh.via Canva/Photos

What is the 30-second rule?

New York Times bestselling author and founder of the Maxwell Institute, John C. Maxwell, had a rule whenever he started a conversation: “Within the first 30 seconds of a conversation, say something encouraging to a person.” This can work in any social or professional situation, for example:

At work:

“Wendy, I heard you did great on yesterday’s conference call.”

“Frank, I hear the clients really love working with you.”

At a party:

“Mohammed, I really loved those pictures you posted on Instagram on your trip to Mexico.”

“Sang, are we going to get some of your incredible barbecue today?”

On a date:

“Thanks for choosing such a great restaurant, it has such a nice ambiance.”

“I really like the way your necklace brings out your eyes.”

date, conversation, laughs, jokes, salads, dinner, restaurant, cafeA man and woman joking on a date.via Canva/Photos

Whether you are complimenting, relaying positive information about the person, or encouraging them, the key is to pump them up and make them feel good about themselves. The 30-second rule fits nicely into Maxwell’s overall view of relationships: “Those who add to us, draw us to them. Those who subtract, cause us to withdraw,” he said.

The key to giving the other person encouragement is to do so genuinely. If you aren’t genuine with your compliments or words of encouragement, your words can have the opposite effect and make the other person feel like you are being condescending.

How does encouragement make people feel?

encouragement, poeple in blue shirts, luaghs, my bad, smiles, supportive peopleA man making a joke with other people in blue shirts.via Canva/Photos

Studies have shown that when people hear words of encouragement, they feel good and have a burst of energy. Psychologist Henry H. Goddard studied tired children and found that they had a burst of energy when he said something encouraging to them. But when he said something negative, they became even more tired.

Ultimately, a direct connection exists between being likeable and being genuinely interested in other people. William King said, “A gossip is one who talks to you about other people. A bore is one who talks to you about himself. And a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself.”

Every time you start a new conversation with someone, take the opportunity to share some words of encouragement with the other person, and you’ll be on your way to being seen as a brilliant conversationalist.

From Your Site Articles
communication tips
Pop Culture

Born between 1954 and 1965? You might be thrilled to learn you're not a Boomer. You're 'Gen Jones.'

These not-quite-Gen Xers shares some pretty cool and unique traits.

Photo credits: Michelle Obama, Montclair Film, Georges Biard

Michelle Obama, Stephen Colbert and Michelle Yeoh are all Gen Jonesers.

The Silent Generation. Baby boomers. Gen X. Millennials. Gen Z. Gen Alpha. Social science and pop culture commentators have spent decades grouping and analyzing the different generations, assigning various qualities, habits and tendencies to each age group. But some people don’t identify with their generation, or at least these particular categories of them. Those on the cusp between two generations often feel like neither aligns with who they are..

That’s where Generation Jones comes in.

Like the Xennials that straddle Gen X and millennials, Generation Jones are not quite boomers but not quite Gen X. For most of their lives, those born between 1954 and 1965 have been lumped in with the baby boomers, but culturally they’ve never quite fit.

generation jones, boomers, gen x, generational humor, best generationKeanu Reeves is a Gen Joneser. That's how you know it's the best generation. media4.giphy.com

They were too young to be involved in the major civil rights, women’s liberation and Vietnam war movements of the 60s, instead witnessing those social upheavals through children’s eyes. But they were also too old to identify with the Gen X latchkey kid angst.

Jonathan Pontell is the television producer, director, and writer who named Generation Jones and explained what made them unique. “We fill the space between Woodstock and Lollapalooza, between the Paris student riots and the anti-globalisation protests, and between Dylan going electric and Nirvana going unplugged,” he wrote in Politico in 2009.

He also explained why Gen Jonesers make good leaders:

generation jones, boomers, gen x, generational humor, best generation, generational differences, history“What makes us Jonesers also makes us uniquely positioned to bring about a new era in international affairs."

“What makes us Jonesers also makes us uniquely positioned to bring about a new era in international affairs. Our practical idealism was created by witnessing the often unrealistic idealism of the 1960s. And we weren’t engaged in that era’s ideological battles; we were children playing with toys while Boomers argued over issues. Our non-ideological pragmatism allows us to resolve intra-Boomer skirmishes and to bridge that volatile Boomer-GenXer divide. We can lead.”

Many Generation Jonesers have never felt like they had a generational home and are thrilled to learn they actually do have one. Check out how Upworthy readers responded with glee upon discovering they were a part of Gen Jones:

"Thank you! As a definite Gen Jones, I completely relate to this. Too young to be a hippy, therefore was never a yuppy, but too old to be Gen X. Gen Jones works just fine."

generation jones, boomers, gen x, generational humor, best generation, generational differences, historyIt's nice to finally belong. Upworthy Facebook

"I have said for decades that I must be a transitional person into Gen X, because I don’t relate to boomers! I appreciate them, but I am not one of them. I am glad someone finally named my generation!"

"There are definite differences between people born in the 1940s/1950s and those of us born in the early 1960s. Most of us born in the early 1960s do not remember the JFK assassination and we were much too young to participate in Woodstock. The older Boomers were already established in their careers and as homeowners with families in the 1980s when we were in our 20s just starting out and ready to buy our first home. While the older Boomers experienced reasonable mortgage interest rates, the early 1960s Boomers faced mortgage interest rates averaging 14 percent in the 1980s which made it more difficult for us to buy our first home. We definitely need an additional group between Boomers and Gen X, and Generation Jones fits the bill."

"I was born 6 days before 1960…. I’ve felt out of touch with a lot of the boomer life descriptions, and not Gen X enough to fit in there. I’ll take Generation Jones."

generation jones, boomers, gen x, generational humor, best generation, generational differences, historyTen points to Gen Jones.Upworthy Facebook

"1957 here, with older siblings born before 1950. I definitely did not have the same experience growing up that they had. I feel I can identify a little with Boomers and a little with the Gen X experience, so there’s some overlap. (BTW, Gen X needs to stop claiming that they’re the first to have experienced all the things we grew up with. Kids, you didn’t invent drinking out of the garden hose or playing outside until the streetlights came on. Sheesh!) Glad to be a Joneser."

"Of course there is a difference between people raised in the 1950’s and people raised and coming of age in the 1960’s and 1970’s. Society changed a lot in those three decades."

"This is my generation but I never knew we had a name! The description fits perfectly."

Congrats on finding your people, Gen Jones. It's your time to shine.

This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles
generational differences
Parenting

Parents are sick and tired of explaining why they 'never want to bring the kids over' to visit

Our kids are probably going to hurt your house and themselves.

Johnny Cohen/Unsplash
Fed up parents explain why they 'never want to bring the kids over' to visit

It's a good news/bad news situation for parents of young kids. The good news? Everyone wants to spend time with the kids! Grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends. They all want a relationship and lots of special moments with the little ones. It's why people assume if you have family nearby that you're "so lucky," and that you're overrun with free babysitting offers. Ha! If only.

The bad news comes down to one phrase: "When are you bringing them over?" Parents have been frustrated by the expectations of orchestrating stressful visits for generations — loading the kids in a car or on an airplane only to spend hours chasing them around in an un-baby-proofed environment and watching routines go to hell.

Now they're sounding off on social media and airing their grievances.

Why visiting grandparents and other relatives is so challenging for parents

A mom recently took to Reddit to vent about everyone in her life wanting her to "bring the kids to them."

"My parents live 30 mins away and always bug me about not coming to visit them," she writes. They constantly ask, "Why don't you bring our granddaughter to come see us?"

The post struck a nerve with parents, who chimed in with hundreds of passionate comments. The fascinating discussion highlights a few things that make arranging visits with young kids a potential nightmare for parents.

Grandparents' houses are rarely childproofed

Grandparents love their breakable decor! Ceramic doo-dads, glass vases everywhere. They can't get enough. In fact, they like to dedicate massive pieces of furniture only to housing their fine china, which they never use, but which is also extremely valuable and sentimental.

And while they should be able to decorate their house however they see fit (they've earned the right!) that doesn't make it a good environment for toddlers and babies.


parents, parenting, moms, dads, grandparents, millennial grandparents, gen x, boomers, grandparent conflict, grandma, grandpaThe breakable decor found in every grandparents' house ozalee.fr/Flickr

"Last week was the last straw, I took my daughter to my parents and of course she went EVERYWHERE! flooded their toilet, broke a vase, and tried multiple times to climb their furniture," the Reddit mom writes.

Parents in a foreign environment are on constant safety duty and can rarely sit down

Let's be honest. Sometimes these "visits" are hardly worth the effort. After all, it's hard to get much catch up time when you're dutifully chasing your kid around.

"They don’t understand that my 3 yo ... is absolutely wild," writes another user in the thread. "She has no self preservation and nothing we do works. She doesn’t listen, she throws, she bites, she refuses to use the potty. It’s exhausting and then ... they expect us to entertain them, when I’m trying to just keep my kid from jumping off the stairs and into an ER visit."

A visit at the grandparents' house is often not a fun catch-up time for mom and dad. It's rare to get to sit down and have an adult conversation when they're busy trying to play Safety Police. It's common to leave one of these visits frustrating and like it wasn't really a visit at all.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Even just putting the kids in the car for a 20-minute drive is more work than it seems

Taking the kids out of the house requires packing a bag, bringing extra clothes, loading up on snacks, etc.

It seems easy to "pop over" but it actually absorbs the majority of the day between prep, visit, and aftermath. In the case of the OP mom and her parents that are "just" 30 minutes away, that's an entire hour of just driving, not counting any visiting time. If anyone's ever driven with young kids, you know that's an eternity! For a drive like that, you need snacks, you need entertainment. You may have to clean up spills, deal with traffic tantrums, or pull over to break up a fight. It's really a lot of work.

Naps and routines go to hell

Parents with babies and toddlers know all too well — there is a price to pay for taking the kids out of the house for too long.

Chances are, the baby won't nap in a strange environment and then you're stuck with a cranky kid the rest of the night. You can and will try, bringing your little pack-and-play and your best intentions, but the process will be draining and probably unsuccessful.

And then guess what? You're totally screwed when you go home later, yay!

Kids with special needs require even more consistency

Kids with autism or ADHD can really struggle outside of their zone of safety. They might become severely dysregulated, have meltdowns, or engage in dangerous behaviors. This adds even more stress to parents and makes the visits even less fun and satisfying in the end.

Explaining and mediating the generational divide

parents, parenting, moms, dads, grandparents, millennial grandparents, gen x, boomers, grandparent conflict, grandma, grandpaIt may be hard to navigate, but a positive child-grandparent relationship is such a powerful thing. Photo by Tim Kilby on Unsplash

Why is this a conflict almost all parents can relate to?

Is this a Boomer vs Millennials thing?

Some experts think that generational values and traditions might play a role.

"Many Boomers were accustomed to more traditional, hierarchical family dynamics, where visiting grandparents was a way for the younger generation to show respect," says Caitlin Slavens, a family psychologist.

But that's not to say this is a new problem. I can remember my own parents driving me and my brothers over an hour to visit my grandparents seemingly every other weekend, but very few occasions where they came to visit us. It must have driven my parents nuts back then!

Plus, it's easy to forget that it's hard for older people to travel, too. They may have their own issues and discomforts when it comes to being away from their home.

"But for today’s parents, balancing careers, kids’ routines, and the demands of modern parenting is a much bigger undertaking. Grandparents might not always see how childproofing their space or making the trip themselves could make a huge difference, especially considering how travel and disruption can impact younger kids' moods and routines," Slavens says.

"So yes, this divide often comes down to different expectations and life experiences, with older generations potentially not seeing the daily demands modern families face."

Is there any hope for parents and grandparents coming to a better understanding, or a compromise?

"First, open conversations help bridge the divide—explain how much of a difference it makes when the kids stay in a familiar space, especially when they’re very young," suggests Slavens.

"Share practical details about the challenges, like childproofing concerns or travel expenses, to help grandparents see it from a parent’s perspective. You might even work together to figure out solutions, like making adjustments to create a more child-friendly space in their home or agreeing on a shared travel plan."

Ultimately, it's a good thing when grandparents, friends, and other relatives want to see the kids. We all have the same goal. Just look at how incredible it can be when everything goes right:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

"It’s helpful to approach the topic with empathy, focusing on everyone’s goal: more quality time together that’s enjoyable and low-stress for everyone involved. For parents, it’s about setting boundaries that work, and for grandparents, it’s about recognizing that flexibility can really show the parents that you are ... willing to make adjustments for their children and grandchildren."

Enjoyable, low-stress quality time — that's something everyone can get behind.

This article was originally posted last year. It has been updated.

From Your Site Articles
parenting
Trending Stories
OSZAR »