upworthy

parenting

Parenting

Mom shares brilliant bedtime 'worry wash' ritual that stopped her daughter's meltdowns

"Bedtimes have gone from 45-minute tearful ordeals to 15-minute snuggles and stories."

Photo by Ben Griffiths on Unsplash

Mom reads daughter a bedtime story.

Bedtime can be one of the most dreaded parts of parenting. Long and drawn out with excuse after excuse to do anything but sleep, putting kids to bed is no easy feat.

But one mom shared her brilliant bedtime hack for getting her five-year-old daughter to bed in no time called a "worry wash." In a Reddit parenting community, MonaMagic2006 explained how it transformed their nighttime routine.

"My youngest (5) would have massive pre-sleep meltdowns about monsters, school worries, or whatever her busy little mind latched onto," she wrote. "Three weeks ago, my husband and I started the 'worry wash' - she draws her worries on water-soluble paper, then takes them to the bathroom sink, says goodbye, and watches them dissolve under running tap water."

worry wash, coloring, child anxiety, bedtime trick, bedtime routineMeme Reaction GIFGiphy

According to her, it has completely changed bedtime with unexpected benefits. "The transformation has been brilliant. Bedtimes have gone from 45-minute tearful ordeals to 15-minute snuggles and stories. She's sleeping through more consistently too!" she added.

Many parents loved the idea:

"This is legendary parenting stuff. Kudos!" one parent commented.

Another added, "This is awesome!!"

Another shared, "I absolutely love the idea of the "worry wash"! It’s such a creative and tangible way to help your child let go of their anxieties before bed. It’s amazing how something so simple can transform bedtime so quickly."

sleep, bedtime, kid bedtime, go to sleep, bedtime routineTired Good Night GIF by Pudgy PenguinsGiphy

After explaining the ritual, she offered a prompt to other parents: "Has anyone tried something similar? What bedtime rituals have worked wonders in your homes?" And they delivered their best bedtime ritual hacks:

"One tip someone gave me that I love is that if you have to stop them doing something, say bye bye to it. Bye bye playground. Bye bye bluey. They copy you and are much happier letting go." BikeProblemGuy

"We started the '5 good things to think about at bedtime.' We started it when our little worrier was little and still do it from time to time when he is older. Basically, if we went on the worry train at bedtime, we would think about 5 things we were looking forward to. Simple, but really worked for our guy." FuzzyWuzzy44

"We mixed up Monster Spray aka water and eucalyptus oil to spray the outside doors so the monsters wouldn't come in." lulabell1295

monster, scary, bed monster, monsters inc, scaredMonsters Inc Disney GIF by filmeditorGiphy

"We got fairy lights to string up on the wall, and a really beautiful picture of fairies and trolls and magical critters in a garden. I told my little one that when everyone is fast asleep, the magic critters all come out of the garden and follow the fairy lights to sprinkle sweet, magical dreams. Every night we read a story about magic because it makes fairies happy, and then they come and sprinkle sweet dreams that, magically, are almost identical to the book we read together!" DgShwgirl

"We use a worry box. It's an invisible box under their beds. I unlock it and open it, and they grab all their worries, etc. out of their heads and put them in the box. Then I close the box, lock it, and let them know if they need their worries, they can get them out in the morning." abcedarian

"We have a little song that I sing whenever either of my kids are worried about nightmares, and while I sing it I pretend to throw their bad dreams away and drop in good dreams. Works like a charm." Final-Quail5857

sleep, sleepy, good night, kids sleep, bedtimeSleepy Good Night GIF by Super SimpleGiphy

"We started a doing an 8 minute children’s guided meditation on YouTube as family before bedtime. It has been so helpful for our anxious autistic 8 year old boy. Here is the link if anyone wants it: 8 minutes kids meditation." swiss_baby_questions

"My little one has a similar ritual where we talk about our “happy thoughts” before bed—she names three things that made her smile that day. It’s become her way of reflecting on the good and calming her mind. It sounds like your ritual is working wonders for your daughter, and I’m sure it’s bringing peace to both of you at bedtime. Thanks for sharing this idea—I might try it out! 😊" Ok-University309

From Your Site Articles
bedtime
Parenting

Studies show non-parents are happier than parents unless 1 of these 3 things are true

"Bundle of joy" might not be the most apt nickname.

Canva Photos

Having kids decreases your quality of life and marital satisfaction, but that doesn't mean you can't be happy.

For decades now there's been one great question looming over society: Does having kids make you happier?

Most studies show that, perhaps surprisingly, people without children tend to be happier, or have more life satisfaction. And when you really think about it, it makes sense why. Being child-free eases your finances and allows you more time to pursue friends, romance, hobbies, travel, adventure, and career aspirations. Having children makes your immediate quality of life and marital satisfaction go down temporarily, or in some cases, permanently. The Surgeon General even recently issued an advisory warning that parental stress is a major public health issue.

But there are three factors that might turn the tide. In the right circumstances, the joy and immense satisfaction of raising children can overcome all the associated stressors and lead to incredible joy and happiness. Other studies from around the globe prove that you might just be a happy parent if:

parents, parenting, moms, dads, children, kids, family, love, stress, happiness, studies, researchWhen your kids grow up and move out, it's like you've won: That's when the happiness really kicks in. Photo by Esther Ann on Unsplash

1. Your kids have moved out

A study from Heidelberg University in Germany specifically looked at happiness in people aged 50 and older. What they found makes a lot of sense.

People who have children were happier than those without, but only in the older age group, and only when those grown children no longer lived at home. Drilling down, the research found that when children become a source of "social enjoyment" rather than stress, life satisfaction increases dramatically while symptoms of depression decrease.

You can think of it as finally getting to enjoy the fruits of your hard labor. After spending decades teaching, nurturing, and shaping your children, your twilight years is when you get to really enjoy them as fully-fledged people who enrich your lives. While there's lots of joy and fun and happiness to be found in the younger years, those years are also marred with financial and other stressors which can subdue our overall happiness.

2. You have a lot of money AND good work/life balance


parents, parenting, moms, dads, children, kids, family, love, stress, happiness, studies, researchParents struggle to make enough money while devoting time to caring for and enjoying their kids. Photo by Tim Gouw on Unsplash

One study out of Bocconi University in Milan, Italy found that "Parents are happier than non-parents ... as long as parents feel they can handle their work pressures to find work/life balance and they have the financial and other resources they need."

Oh, is that all?

Some estimates say it costs roughly $24,000 per year to raise a child, on average. A family with three kids would need to make about $75,000 just to cover the absolute bare minimum food and childcare costs — yowza! The costs are more when they're young (daycare, childcare, diapers, toys) but it never stops being expensive. Parenting is also extremely time-consuming, requiring several hours per day of childcare and extra housework for most families.

The impossible conundrum that many parents find themselves in is somehow having enough money and enough time to do it all. It's easy to see that if you can somehow solve that puzzling equation, yeah, you'd be a heck of a lot happier. Easier said than done!

3. You don't live in the United States

parents, parenting, moms, dads, children, kids, family, love, stress, happiness, studies, researchParents in Spain, Norway, Sweden, Portugal, and more are enjoying more time off to spend with family. Photo by Mauro Lima on Unsplash

In 2016, The Council of Contemporary Families wanted to look into whether parental discontent was a global phenomenon or not. So, they studied parents and non-parents from 22 different countries to see if they could find any differences in life satisfaction.

The report found that parents in countries like Norway, Hungary, Portugal, Finland, Sweden and Spain were shown to be happier than non-parents.

And yet, according to Time Magazine, "Of the 22 countries the researchers studied, America has the biggest happiness differential between parents and the child-free."

The report specifically cites the high cost of childcare for young children and the limited amount of paid leave Americans receive—and not just parental leave, but simple vacation time. Countries like Spain and Portugal mandate anywhere from 22-30 paid leave days per year, while Americans average about 11. That allows for significantly less time to actually enjoy time with your kids, and has a big impact on our happiness, or lack thereof.

Of course, happiness can be measured in a lot of different ways. Is happiness a blissful feeling of freedom and joy? Or is it a deep satisfaction and sense of purpose in your life? Or maybe a combination of the two?

What the overall body of research seems to show is that there are many different paths to happiness, whether you choose to have children or not. Finding joy and satisfaction in your life as a parent might be considered "hard-mode." There are a lot of obstacles working against you, especially in America, but the research is beginning to give us some clues about how we can get there.

From Your Site Articles
parenting
Education

Retired teacher shares the biggest parenting mistake she saw throughout her career

A lot of parents are missing a very important point.

via Canva/Photos

A child who disagrees with her mother.

If an elementary school teacher starts their job right after finishing college and then works until they are 65, they’ll probably teach over 1200 students and interact with around 2,000 parents. That type of experience, paired with a great understanding of children, gives teachers incredible knowledge about what makes a great parent.

That experience can also help people understand where many parents need help these days. Elena Nicolaou, senior editor for “The Today Show,” asked her mother, a retired elementary school teacher, to share the most significant parenting mistake she had seen throughout her career, and it’s disappointing to hear. “They didn’t enjoy them,” she said. “Kids are fun. You’ve got to enjoy them. They wanted them to be something that — most of us aren’t exactly what other people want us to be — so enjoy the kid you have.”

“I enjoyed you,” the retired teacher said while looking at her daughter.

@elenanico22

Lisa says it like it is #momlife #momsoftiktok #momwisdom #momtok #momhumor #parenting #parentingwisdom

What’s one of the biggest mistakes parents make today?

The teacher’s advice reminds parents everywhere to see their children for who they are, not who they want them to be. Because there’s nothing worse in this world than being a square peg that our parents are trying to squeeze into a round hole. You may want your child to excel in sports, but maybe they are happiest and most successful in theater. You may push your child to be in beauty pageants when they want to play music. You may want your child to be stoic when they are really sensitive and artistic.

The teacher’s advice suggests that parents should help their children become their best rather than shaping them into something that conflicts with their inner nature.

parenting, parenting advice, good parentsA father listening to his son.via Canva/Photos

What is the problem with strict parenting?

The retired teacher shared what happens when parents push their children too far by using the example of a famous person at the school where she taught. “There was one very famous parent who, unfortunately, is sort of still involved now in politics,” the teacher said. “But he was a doctor then, and he was very strict about what his kids could eat. Like, super strict. So, of course, what did the kids want? Everything they couldn't have.”

There’s a reason why kids who have overly strict parents often rebel against how they were raised, whether it’s in a repressive household where they aren’t allowed to watch cartoons or a health-obsessed home where they couldn’t enjoy the occasional cookie. It’s a psychological phenomenon called “reactence.” When people feel their freedom is being threatened, they will become motivated to do the opposite of what they feel pressured to do. This can also be a problem when children are pushed to be something they are not.

“I call it the picture frame parent. As long as the kid looks like the perfect kid in a frame on their desk and the kid doesn’t mess up big enough to break that image, it’s all good,” one commenter wrote. “Toddler teacher. Same. So heartbreaking. I saw it a lot when I worked with highly educated parents with high incomes,” another added.

A great carpenter cuts with the grain just as a seasoned sailor adjusts to the wind and a master chef seasons according to taste, not just the recipe. So, according to this retired teacher, a good parent sees their child for who they are and tries to develop them into being the best version of themselves instead of pushing them to be someone they are not.

This article originally appeared in January

From Your Site Articles
parenting
Family

Mom uses Disney trip to explain why it's harder to parent now than in the '90s

Things that used to be simple are now a complicated nightmare.

via Canva/Photos and Tuxyso/Wikimedia Commons

Disney trips have a lot of parents frustrated.

In the 1990s, you could go to Disneyland or The Magic Kingdom on a whim, show up at the park, wait in line to get a ticket, grab a map, walk in, and have a good time. However, these days, things are a lot more complicated. In 2025, the price of the park changes with demand, and you have to make reservations for the day you hope to visit. Want to eat dinner at a sit-down restaurant? Better reserve your table a few days ahead of time. Want to get on the newest ride? Better hop in the virtual queue when the park opens at 9 am.

Further, the entire time you’re at the park, you’re staring at your phone, following instructions on where to go based on the app. And there aren’t any days when the park isn’t crowded—it’s always crowded. It’s a wonder people have any fun at the park when things are so complicated and expensive.

Why is it so hard to be a parent in 2025?

Sarah Biggers-Stewart, founder of CLOVE + HALLOW, a clean cosmetics line, believes the stress of going to Disney mirrors what everything is like for parents in 2025. “The hardest thing about parenting in 2025 is that the parenting part isn't really that hard. It's everything else,” she said in a post with over 70,000 views. “The amount of participation and engagement expected of parents in literally everything related to raising kids is insane.”

Warning: Strong language.

@thebiggersthebetter

Like the parenting is ofc hard but it’s literally everything else that sucks 😂 #parenthood #momlife #raisinglittles #realtalk #girltalk #motherhood #disneyworld #parentlife

“And nothing perfectly illustrates this better than this Disney trip we're going on next week and the multi-month booking process I've had to go through in order to make sure that we can have a normal Disney trip. Sixty days ago, I had to pre-book at six am, restaurants, activities,” she continued. She adds that it makes her mad because "it doesn't have to be this way.”

Why are children's sports so intense these days?

Biggers-Stewart says the same thing is happening in children’s sports. “We're treating these seven-year-olds like they're all gonna go pro. They can't even go with their families for a week vacation during the summer break because if they miss a week, they're like shunned and benched,” she told her 602,000 followers. "The seven-year-olds are talking about their protein intake, and the parents are being lectured by the coaches about their protein intake. These kids are seven.”

A child jumps over cones playing soccer.It's getting too intense.via Canva/Photos

Many moms in the comments could totally relate to Biggers-Stewart’s frustration.

"The 1st time we did Disney, I did nothing, and it was a nightmare. The 2nd time, I had spreadsheets & binder & it was F-ing magical for my family and satisfied me like I had planned a corporate summit," Booishlady wrote. "I was SWEATING BULLETS trying to get my kid into various summer camps the moment registration opened in JANUARY. And you're right, even basic activities have to be planned and purchased way in advance."

"We decided early on that we weren’t going to overbook our kids with a bunch of extracurriculars. We prioritize family time, which is great, and yet I still feel so much external pressure to do more," Katie wrote.

At the conclusion of her video, Biggers-Stewart boiled the problem down to what parenting is like in 2025: Intense. “Everything is the most intense version that requires the most effort and participation,” she said. “That is why parents in 2025 are burnt the f**k out.”

This article originally appeared in March.

From Your Site Articles
parenting
Trending Stories
OSZAR »