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A man looks confused. A person swipes on a dating app.

A couple of months ago, a story went viral about a man in a southern Indian airport who claims he got over one hundred matches on a dating app in just ten minutes. His name is Ankit and he posted a screenshot of the evidence on X, putting smiley emojis over the faces of women who allegedly swiped right. His post got thousands of likes and so many comments that he decided to make another post about how to have a successful dating profile.

Tips included, but were not limited to: taking photographs in light spaces, using the color green, and "Pictures with horses are nice. Dogs are outdated." (Hard disagree.)

Dating experts, app marketers, and, well, daters alike have been trying to figure out the exact formula for the perfect profile. In 2017, Good Housekeeping even ran a story, "The Colours to Avoid Wearing on Your Online Dating Profile," where the head of marketing at Tinder, Rose Pambakian, is cited as claiming most people wear muted colors. "So if you really want to stand out, show a pop of colour in your outfit."

@datingbyblaine

🗣️ “Blaine, is it true red is the best color to attract women?” I'm here to debunk this rumor! I guarantee the best color to wear on dates or in your dating app profile is a color (and outfit) that you feel AWESOME in! No matter what anyone else claims (even me)👩‍🔬❤️ #datingtips #datingadvice #ootd #datingcoachformen

While this is all good advice, it's the trusty Redditors who have really come through—for one guy in particular. An OP wrote, "Need help with online dating profile, here's what I have so far." (He then inserted a smiley face, as if to say…be kind.)

He shares, "So, I have no idea what I'm doing, to be honest this would be my first proper relationship. I had one way back in high school, but I'm not counting that. Anyway, since up to probably the last two years, I had pretty bad social anxiety and barely left the house, now I'm starting to do more so thought I'd try."

He then explains that he doesn't have a lot of photos of himself and hates being on camera. "The only thing I can think for pictures is to set phone up somewhere and try a photo of me messing with my PC, building a LEGO Technic set or me 3D modeling on PC."

His second issue, he explains, is crafting his bio. He says, "I'm a quirky, hyper guy but don't know what to put to make me a little more interesting." He added, "I think I'd definitely be looking for someone introverted like me — bonus if similar hobbies. Any help would be appreciated because I have no idea."

dating app, swipe culture, dating advice, online dating, appsA hand swipes through photos on a dating app.Giphy Chris Hemsworth animation gif, lunarpapacy

He posts a screenshot of "what he had so far" of his bio, including that his name is Jack and he's 28. He writes, "A big-time introverted car enthusiast and motorsports fan. In my spare time I enjoy creating 3D art, gaming or Discord on my PC, or driving around in my sh--box. Enjoy a quiet night in, but also a quieter night out with friends."

In his main photo, he's staring intently while wearing headphones. In his second, he's smiling while giving the "hey hey" finger guns to the camera. The second, third, and fourth pictures are of cars.

Over a hundred people chimed in and their responses were (mostly) completely heartwarming. The first comment was straight to the point and so genuinely supportive: "I don't know much about online dating, but that photo of you pointing at the mirror with a smile is a winner. Whatever you change, don't change that one. It looks more natural and has good lighting and makes you seem like a really nice person."

Quite a few agreed with the "finger guns." One writes, "100%. It shows OP’s personality and sense of humor. It will definitely stand out amongst all of the ab-flashing mirror photos and hunting trophy photos other dudes love to post."

finger guns, Steve Carrell, The Office, cute pictures, happy picturesSteve Carrell gives finger guns to the camera on The Office.Giphy, Peacock, NBC

This commenter gives an uplifting pep talk: "I wish you all the best dude. If I was to offer any advice, stay true to yourself and your personality as much as you can. If you're a shy guy like me, especially at first when you get to know people, then just be honest about it. Ask questions, get to know them, think of some general and nice places to go with them, etc., and find out what you have in common and who you are as people to see if this is someone who is compatible with you. Once again, all the best and good luck, you've got this! :)."

While a couple (okay, quite a few) gently suggested to lose all or most of the car photos, they still approach with kindness. "You seem like a sweet and genuine human being, and cute too. 10/10 would date. I think you can put fewer pictures of your car (at least the ones without you in it) and try to show more of your personality."

The OP was very receptive and seemingly appreciative of the kind and helpful words. Fingers crossed it all yielded fantastic results.

Joy

What matters more, looks or money? Here's how men and women really judge dating profiles.

There’s a big difference in how men and women evaluate online dating profiles.

A man and woman look at online dating profiles.

If you are confused by the world of online dating, a new study gives a fascinating look into how heterosexual men and women evaluate profiles. Unfortunately, the results won’t give you hope that people on online dating apps aren’t superficial, but they show a significant difference in how men and women evaluate profiles.

Knowing how people look at you can be very helpful when writing your profile and choosing which photos to use.

The study, published in Archives of Sexual Behavior, used the latest eye-tracking technology to see what men and women focus on when looking at online dating profiles. The researchers took 20 men and women and recorded their movements with an eye-tracking camera while they viewed online dating profiles.


How do men look at online dating profiles?

Unsurprisingly, the study found that men primarily focus on a woman’s facial attractiveness and spend little time considering her occupation or income level. However, if a woman was unattractive, a man focused on her looks if she had a prestigious job or high earning potential.

“We were surprised to see that men increased their visual attention to nominally unattractive women when their (the women’s) jobs were high-status and high-paying,” Amy Lykins, a lead author of the study and an associate professor in clinical psychology at the University of New England in Maine, told PsyPost. “Normally, uninteresting information (i.e., unattractive faces in this case) wouldn’t attract much attention, but they did appear to attract more attention when the woman also had a good, high-paying job.”

online dating, men and women dating, online datingA couple on a date. via Canva

How do women look at online dating profiles?

The women in the study were much more complex than the men regarding how they looked at dating profiles. Women focused more on a man’s attractiveness after considering his income level and occupation. If a man’s profile showed that he has a lower income or a less prestigious job title, women would focus on his looks a bit longer. “Regardless of how attractive the man was (high or low), women spent more time looking at men’s faces when resources were low than high,” said Amy Lykins

Although the researchers were careful not to draw any conclusions from the results of the study, it appears that women are more generous to men with lower earning potential when they are attractive. The attitude is, “Okay, you don’t have much money, but you’re cute, so maybe we’re a match. Meanwhile, men were more generous towards women who weren't that attractive but had higher-paying jobs. The typical male attitude is, “You’re not as cute as I’d like, but you have a good job, so I guess that’ll work."

online dating, men and women dating, online datingA couple on a date. via Canva

Regarding attractiveness, the study found that both men and women paid a lot more attention to the faces of online daters than their bodies. Eighty-three percent of their time was focused on faces, regardless of whether other body parts were shown.

“We expected this,” Lykins told The Huffington Post. “I’ve found this in other eye-tracking studies I’ve conducted, even where people were barely clothed and/or even nude. People are extremely interested in faces ― even as newborns ― and that’s true for both men and women.”

The study also proved another stereotype about online dating: men are more interested in short-term relationships and women are looking for something more long-term.

The researchers found that the significant difference between how men and women look at online dating profiles is noticeable within a short period. “Within the first 10 seconds of viewing an online profile of a potential relationship partner, we can see differences in the prioritization of different types of information,” Lykins explained.

Depending on how rich or attractive you feel, the findings may be disheartening or make you want to sign up for an online dating app. Regardless, it’s good to know what the opposite sex looks for when you put yourself out there. “The findings have real-world implications for how people may want to create online dating profiles using apps such as Tinder,” Lykins told PsyPost.

Photo by Thayran Melo on Unsplash
woman in white shirt wearing white helmet

Even though people have endless options to find love these days, whether in real life or online, finding the perfect person still isn’t easy. In fact, according to Pew Research, 55% of women believe dating is harder today than it was 10 years ago. So it’s understandable that some are considering ditching the apps to meet people in real life.

Studies show that for people looking for a serious relationship, real life may be the better option.

According to Newsweek, a study by Illinois State University sociology professor Susan Sprecher found that young people who first met face to face were 25% more likely to report feelings of closeness than those who initially met online. Aditi Paul, a communications professor at Pace University in New York, found that people who first met in real life lasted four times longer than those who met online.


Single women who’ve been let down by the men they’ve met online started a funny TikTok trend in 2023 where they are going to Home Depot to find a husband. Why not? If you’re looking for a hard-working man, that’s probably where to find one.

It appears as though the trend first started on TikTok in 2021. "Ladies, no joke, Home Depot is where you go if you want to meet a man," TikTok user @meganlouise217 said.

@meganlouise217

Home Depot is made out of husband material. #datingadvice #husband #single #fyp #fyi

Holly Allen is a taken woman but she swears that the men are "everywhere" at Depot at 8:30 am on a Wednesday. "For all of you ladies who are trying to find the perfect soul mate. I've found them,” she said.

TikTok user @joleene_d took the trend to heart and went to the source, Home Depot employees, and asked them where to find the single men. "Do you have an aisle specifically where single men are?" she asked.

@joleene_d

Reply to @jenhealer I tried! @Home Depot. It didn't work. (two and a half weeks into my 4-week online dating experience.) #homedepot #onlinedating #single

It's not just the women who are looking to find a man at Home Depot.

@grindr

now it’s all about finding love in the lumber aisle ✋😔 @tannertan36

However, finding love is hard no matter where you look for it. Some women complained that they visited their local Home Depot and came up empty-handed.

"Meh. Maybe A diff location,” @latinkitty wrote.

@latinkittty

Meh. Maybe A diff location?😅🤣 #homedepot #fyp #MakeASplash #viral #single #fy #foryou #men #eyecandy #workingmen

"Where is the husband aisle?" @rileyontok asked.

@rileyontok

Visit TikTok to discover videos!

Megan Louise has some words for those who say there are no single men to be found at Home Depot. She says they're going at the wrong time.

"A good man, he works, he works during the day,” Megan said. “You have to go when they open at five. Because they're going there before work they're getting whatever they forgot, lost, or broke the day before. Now, they're in a hurry, late and probably haven't had coffee yet. So you need to be ready, have your number on paper, hand it to them and hope you believe in love at first sight because that's how it's going to happen."

She also says it's best to avoid Saturdays because that’s when married men shop at Home Depot. She says Friday nights are great because all the taken men are out with their significant others.

@meganlouise217

Reply to @tinabear313 how to get a man at Home Depot pt 2 kinda... like for a pt3 #homedepot #datingadvice #single #homeimprovement #fyp #fyi

Even though picking up people at big-box retail locations may not be the best way to create a long-term relationship, the Home Depot challenge is an important reminder to get off our phones and meet people in real life for a change. You may be missing out on someone really special because you may find chemistry with someone in person who didn't stand out online.


This article originally appeared on 1.25.23

Body language expert Kate Kali shares her dating advice.

Figuring out if your date is into you can be like reading a map—everyone has their own set of signs and signals, and some people’s can be hard to read. Plus, we all want to put our best foot forward, so we might not let our true feelings show right away, either. It’s like trying to win a friendly game of guess-who.

The problem is that in the fast-moving world of online dating, mixed signals can lead to missed connections.


So, body language expert Kate Kali posted a video sharing the ‘3 Nonverbal Sings That Someone Finds You Attractive.”

@kate__kali

3 Things People Subconsciously Do When They Are Attracted To You 😍 #dating #datingadvice #datingtips #bodylanguage #nonverbalcommunication #readingbodylanguage #bodylanguagetips #bodylanguagesecrets #datingandromance #attraction #oppositesattract #readingpeople #humanbehavior #attractivebodylanguage #seduction #fyp #bodylanguagehacks #howtoreadpeople #datinglife #peoplereading #facereading

1. They touch you, even if it’s momentary

"If they touch you in any way, even if it's like a little brush or they just kind of touch your shoulder for a second, that's a pretty sure sign that they're interested in you," she says. "Typically in a dating scenario, if somebody touches you, they're actually subconsciously—and sometimes quite consciously—testing out what it feels like to be physically connected to you."

2. Dilated pupils

"If someone's pupils dilate, they are definitely into you. The eyes are connected to the heart—that's a Chinese face-reading thing—and when the pupils dilate, they are quite literally, physiologically, trying to take in more of you," Kali says.

3. Watch their belongings

"You will notice that couples or people that are dating that are into each other will subconsciously and slowly, over time, get their drinks closer together," Kali explains. Conversely, if your date moves their things away from you, it could mean they aren’t interested yet.

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