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Leadership expert shares the 3 reasons Gen X is ignored and it's pitch perfect

"Gen X, I didn’t forget you, even if the rest of the world has."

Image via Canva

Leadership expert explains why Gen X is often "forgotten" about.

Generation X, those born between 1965 and 1980, is also referred to as the "middle child" generation. And like most middle children, they are easily forgotten about and overlooked. It's a sentiment that many Gen X'ers can relate to.

In an online community of Gen X'ers, one member named @BizarroMax opened up about a story he recently heard from a leadership expert during a recent leadership conference. The expert humorously discussed the "generational strife" between Boomers, Millennials, and Zoomers, making a hilarious point about why Gen X seems to be frequently forgotten about. The post went viral among Gen X'ers who feel 'seen' by her expert take.

@BizarroMax shared the three reasons why Gen X is ignored according to the leadership expert. "Gen X, I didn’t forget you, even if the rest of the world has. But I have no advice for you. For a few reasons. First, you don’t need it. You are the most independent and self-sufficient generation in the history of mankind and there is literally nothing I can teach you," she said.

gen x, gen xers, friends, old friends, laughing Gen X group of friends.Image via Canva

The expert continued with two more reasons. "Second, even if I did have something to tell you, you wouldn’t care. Third, the reason we ignore you is because the rest of us are all terrified of you. If the zombie apocalypse ever happens, we are all hiding behind you. Somehow, you’ll know what to do.”

Many fellow Gen X'ers agreed. In the comments section, member @Sirenista_D wrote, "We wouldn't 'know' what to do but we def are the 'figure it out' crew," and member MNConcerto replied, "Because we had to. Damn we were left alone nobody helped us figure it out or problem solve, we had to do it. You got yourself into this mess, now get yourself out."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Others leaned into the comedic nature of the expert's observation about Gen X: "My body already hurts for no reason. You fight the zombies," member @fohktor wrote, to which fellow member @DocMcCracken humorously responded, "Zombie apocalypse? I've seen enough movies, not worth the hanging around in the after suffering, just get it over quick, I'm tired already and I just woke up."

Some poked fun at their generation's independent ways: "Gen X doesn't do 'leadership conferences'," @corneliusvanhouten wrote, followed by @Chalice_Ink's reply, "We might go, but we don’t pay attention." Member @Efficient_Weather_13 also commented, "I’ll go, but I’m gonna complain the whole time," to which member @Current-Anybody9331replied, "And make it awkward for anyone who talks to me."

gen x, generation x, gen xers, generations, latch kay generation Gen X 80S GIF by Vikki DowneyGiphy

According to Michele M. Kroll, Ph.D., a University of New Hampshire Older Adult Health & Well-Being Field Specialist, Gen X is often called the "forgotten generation" as well as the "latchkey" generation, "as they were often left unsupervised at home or after school until their parents came home from work. This was due to increased numbers of dual income households and parental divorce," she wrote in her article, "Generation X... "The Forgotten Generation". Dr. Kroll notes that this instilled independence and resilience, adding that "the sandwich generation causes additional stress by juggling many responsibilities from caregiving of children to aging parents."

Despite these challenges, Dr. Kroll adds that Gen Xers are "notably satisfied with their life, health and career." And another member of the Gen X community, @Sensitive-Question42, summed it up perfectly: "God I’m so happy that this is my generation. I love being overlooked (not being sarcastic or ironic either, surprisingly for us). I just like being left to my own devices and working things out for myself."

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leadership

Education

Enlightened boomer shares why millennials are a 'hero' generation, but it comes with a price

Millennials are the "middle child" of history.

via Canva/Photos

A woman holding a "time for change" sign.

A trend appears when looking at the generational battles over the past decade. Millennials (1981 to 1996) are trying to create a more equitable world and repair the damage done by the generations before them. However, they have an uphill battle because baby boomers (1946 to 1965) still hold power in many aspects of American life.

Millennials grew up in an era impacted by 9-11, the Great Recession, the COVID-19 pandemic, and the cultural awakening that happened after the George Floyd murder. It’s wrong to paint an entire generation with the same brush. Still, millennials have favored progressive politics with a strong interest in helping to reverse the effects of climate change and fighting for equality. Culturally, millennials have preferred authenticity, whether it's the hipster movement or their love for craft beer, farmhouse decor, and all things chuegy.

@marilyn_mckenna
Baby boomers need to pass the baton of leadership to Millennials. Do you agree? #boomers #millennials #millennialsoftiktok #fourthturning #generationtheory #genx #genz

What type of generation are the millennials?

Marilyn McKenna, 62, an intentional aging expert, says all of this makes sense given their generational trajectory. In a video with over 300,000 views, she says that, according to Neil Howe's 1997 book The Fourth Turning, millennials are considered a hero generation. In Turning, the authors postulate that every 80 to 100 years, there is an archetypal generational cycle in the order of prophets, nomads, heroes, and artists. Therefore, millennials are heroes whose job is to rescue America from a crisis that shakes it to its core.

“Hero generations come of age as community-based young adults during a Fourth Turning Crisis,” Alden Guzman writes. “If the outer world crisis is handled well, the hero generation is active participants in the building and championing of new values and institutions to face the crisis at hand.”

climate protest, milennials, climate, hero generation, enviornmentalism A climate change protest. via Linh Do/Flickr

McKenna believes millennials have a significant job ahead of them, but there’s one big problem: it isn’t the task at hand; it’s baby boomers. "Whether in politics, media, corporate leadership, or the economy, boomers still occupy the majority of decision-making roles," McKenna said. "Many are reluctant to make space for new voices—not just millennials, but also Gen X and Gen Z. There's an unwillingness to acknowledge that the world has changed, and that old solutions aren't working."

Unfortunately, she believes that millennials are “screwed” because the boomers won't concede their power. She adds that boomers could play an essential role in changing society if they finally decided to step down. "It doesn't mean disappearing—it means mentoring, stepping back from dominance, and actively helping to prepare and elevate the next generation of leadership. But, too often, boomers have mistaken staying relevant for staying in control," McKenna continued.

milennials, occupy wall street, protest, march, anti-capitalism A group of people marh in the streets.via John Smith/Flickr

McKenna says that the problems we face today stem from a crisis in agency because those who want to help are being stifled. "The historical patterns may be interesting and instructive, but they don't soften the day-to-day experience of living through a crisis. People are burned out, isolated, and losing faith in institutions,” she told Newsweek. “It's hard to know how to motivate people when they feel they have no real agency, and that's where I think we're stuck."

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Education

Why you should stop saying "I think" if you want to sound confident while speaking

We all do it, but it might be watering down what we're really trying to say.

Photo credit: Canva

Here's what recommended instead.

Clear, effective communication is just as much about what you don’t say as it is about what you do say. It’s incredibly easy for a message to get watered down with filler words and passive phrases, many of which we use on a daily basis.

Case and point: “I think” statements. Sure, this seems like a harmless option. Logical even. After all, it’s honest. Certain factors have led you to think this or that is the right choice, and thus, you are saying so. But as CNBC Make It contributor Lorraine K. Lee explains, overuse of these two well-intentioned words can “diminish your presence and undermine your confidence.”

In fact, Lee lumps “I think” in with “just,” “sorry” and “maybe,” which are more well-known examples of minimizing language, aka passive qualifiers that lessen the meaning of what you're trying to communicate, rather than enhance it. She notes that however "polite" these phrases seem, etiquette comes at the cost of credibility.

media4.giphy.com

Specifically, “I think” can make an opinion, however well informed, come across as nothing more than a passing thought, and therefore not taken seriously. Or it can make the speaker seem “hesitant” of their own perspective.

So instead, Lee recommends swapping “think” for “I recommend,” which conveys the same meaning but is more “action-oriented” and “decisive.” An example she uses is saying “I recommend trying this restaurant,” rather than “I think you should try this restaurant.“

Lee advises that this swap be used in times when you aren’t all that confident as well, with some added caveats for transparency. Using “from my experience, I’d recommend…” for example. It’s easy to see how you can be upfront about uncertainties, while still clearly communicating your stance.

Things get further conflated when you think about how many people use “I feel statements” when they mean to use “I think statements.” “I feel like this restaurant is better than the other one.” “I feel that you should go with this plan.” “I feel like this isn’t the most productive use of our time.” This is not only grammatically inaccurate, as these are opinions one thinks, not feels, but it also pacifies an already weakened version of what you’re trying to say in the first place.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

So, how do we really develop this better speaking habit? Lee recommends (see what we did there?) first listening for when and where those “I think” statements tend to pop up. You can even ask for the folks around you to help keep you accountable. She also suggests allowing for a pause before speaking, which gives you time to make the mental swap before saying anything out loud. And since most of us type exponentially more than we speak, be sure to make those swaps in written communications as well.

Photo credit: Canva

Bottom line; it’s easy for us to go on autopilot with our language. That, plus a desire to not come across as pushy or domineering, can cause us to not really say what we mean. But if we want to be understood, we need to be intentional with what we say, or don’t say.

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life

Education

Star psychologist Adam Grant explains why we need to do away with 'the compliment sandwich'

Plus, the one simple sentence to use instead.

Jamey Stillings, Wikipedia/ Canva

There's a new way to give tough love.

The “sandwich technique,” also known as a “compliment sandwich” or “feedback sandwich,” has been a tool for delivering criticism since the 1940s. But it really became something of a workplace staple after 1984, thanks to Mary Kay Ash’s book “People Management.”

The idea seems sound enough. The deliverer of the criticism would first offer a compliment to the recipient, followed by the actual feedback, then another bit of praise. This should theoretically allow the criticism to be received without bruising any ego or hurting any feelings. Everybody wins.

But according to organizational psychologist and bestselling author Adam Grant, the compliment sandwich “doesn’t taste as good as it looks.”

In various interviews, podcasts, social media posts and even a Substack article, Grant has chalked up the compliment sandwich ineffectiveness to two major shortcomings.

One being that people are simply too familiar with it. So whatever compliment is given, no matter how genuine it may be, people know what’s coming next and they begin “waiting for the other shoe drop.”

Knowing the compliments are obligatory can actually make someone take the criticism ever more personally.

Two: the opposite can happen. Because people tend to remember the first and last parts of a conversation, the criticism might be downplayed or outright buried underneath the positive feedback. This goes especially for narcissists, Grant notes.

Luckily there is a kind, yet efficient way to give some tough love. And it all boils down to one simple sentence:

“I’m giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I know that you can reach them.”

The phrase comes from a 2013 study conducted by researchers at Stanford,who were able to increase a student’s openness to criticism by at least 40% just by using those 19 words.

As Grant explains, this strategy works because it conveys an intention to help a person become the best version of themselves. “It’s surprisingly easy to hear a hard truth when it comes from someone who believes in your potential and cares about your success.”

Of course, using the exact words isn’t mandatory.

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A post shared by Adam Grant (@adamgrant)

The point is focusing on helping someone improve, rather than attacking or patronizing them.

To that point, Grant also has a few other helpful pointers, like not assuming a position of superiority, asking if the person is open to feedback first (Grant attests they usually welcome it) and lastly, keeping the language transparent, not manipulative.

At the end of the day, most people want to grow, become better people, and live up to their potential. Remembering that one little truism can go a long way.

This article originally appeared on 4.11.24

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psychology

Joy

12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women

We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Men and the feels.

Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.

In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.

One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.

Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?

IS IT?

Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.

$women\u2019s communication, women in business, men$

Encourage.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.

Sharing ideas.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."

Email requests.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.

Idea sharing.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.

Sexism.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.

Mansplain.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.

Mistakes.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.

Promotions.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.

Rude.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.

Interruptions.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.

Collaboration.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.

Disagreements.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!

In conclusion...

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.

About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.

The comedic book cover.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.

This article was originally published on 3.25.19

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women

Business

Study shows the specific barriers female business owners face—even those at the very top

30 women who own businesses that make more than $5 million in annual revenues, and the discussions were very revealing.

Canva

Running multi-million dollar businesses doesn't exclude women from gender prejudice.

Many studies on the state of women in the workplace seem to reinforce the doom and gloom of modern women's experience. They tell us something we already know – that you're going to have to speak ten times louder to be heard half as often, and there's no amount of leaning in or wearing shoulder pads that can fix that.

A report conducted in 2019 by Babson College and Bank of America found that female business owners don't feel like they're being taken seriously, which is pretty much old news at this point. But the report also explored the specific barriers women business owners feel like they're facing so we can jump over those barriers, no shoulder pads needed.

Researchers conducted in-depth interviews with 30 women who own businesses that make more than $5 million in annual revenues, and the discussions were very revealing. "[W]omen who have built successful companies had to navigate significant gender-based obstacles. In doing so, these women created alternate paths to success for themselves, and for other similarly unstoppable female entrepreneurs," Bank of America said in a release. The study found that there were three main misconceptions: market misperceptions, network exclusions, and managing expectations while underfunded.

Many women felt that they "had their leadership position questioned due to their gender." Raegan Moya-Jones, co-founder of baby products manufacturer Aden & Anais, said the fact that she was a mother was a positive in the eyes of the consumer, however she found that business people weren't taking her seriously because of it.

Other female business owners found that some people had misconceptions as to why the woman founded her business in the first place. "When a woman starts a business, some potential backers may assume that she is running the business out of her home, for fun, or just to supplement her family's income," the report said. "Backers may then fail to see the business as growth-oriented and worthy of investment."

women, business, successful, entrepreneur, trends

Potential backers may assume that a woman could only run a business from her home.

Photo from Pixabay

More importantly, the report laid out how women can bust through the barriers to success. The report recommended we "capitalize on personal insights and experiences," because the female experience is actually an advantage. "Women entrepreneurs have an opportunity to leverage their personal experiences and serve the emerging needs and trends for female consumers," the report said. "Because they understand the market, they are well suited to communicate their value proposition and reach their target clients." In other words, being a woman isn't something that has to hold you back — it can propel you forward.

This article originally appeared on 10.24.19

From Your Site Articles

In two minutes, a top chef explains how he broke the cycle of 'miserable leadership'

'We do not accept any abuse in this kitchen.'

Photo by Louis Hansel on Unsplash

Chef broke cycle of "miserable leadership."

Anyone who's worked in a restaurant will know how intense it can be, especially in the kitchen. It’s hot, the cooks are stressed, someone’s always yelling about something and dishes, well, sometimes they end up broken. In upscale restaurants the pressure is even higher, so when this chef began to explain how he turned his kitchen around to be more harmonious and less chaotic, I stopped to listen.

In this short two-minute video, Chef Eric Ripert, who was trained in France, explains the toxic and abusive training he received that molded the way he worked. When he was in charge of his current restaurant, he simply repeated the abusive pattern. He tells Entrepreneur that he had been yelled at, had dishes thrown to the floor and was even punched in the shoulder. While Ripert says he has never physically assaulted his staff, he did admit to being verbally abusive and throwing dishes. He also noted that not only was his staff miserable but he was as well, and something had to change.

Coming to the realization that misery indeed enjoyed company, he decided to turn things around. No more yelling and certainly no more throwing dishes in the kitchen that he ran. Ripert leaned into kindness and patience to reach a place of mutual respect with the other staff. The new system isn’t perfect because people are human, and in a high stress environment, tempers can flare. But Ripert has a solution for those human moments: apologies.

We could all learn a thing or two from this chef’s transformation and surely his kitchen staff is thankful for the shift in environment.

From Your Site Articles

sweet videos

leadership

Leadership expert shares the 3 reasons Gen X is ignored and it's pitch perfect

"Gen X, I didn’t forget you, even if the rest of the world has."

Enlightened boomer shares why millennials are a 'hero' generation, but it comes with a price

Millennials are the "middle child" of history.

What type of generation are the millennials?

Why you should stop saying "I think" if you want to sound confident while speaking

We all do it, but it might be watering down what we're really trying to say.

Star psychologist Adam Grant explains why we need to do away with 'the compliment sandwich'

Plus, the one simple sentence to use instead.

But according to organizational psychologist and bestselling author Adam Grant, the compliment sandwich “doesn’t taste as good as it looks.”

Knowing the compliments are obligatory can actually make someone take the criticism ever more personally.

“I’m giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I know that you can reach them.”

The point is focusing on helping someone improve, rather than attacking or patronizing them.

12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women

We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.

Study shows the specific barriers female business owners face—even those at the very top

30 women who own businesses that make more than $5 million in annual revenues, and the discussions were very revealing.

In two minutes, a top chef explains how he broke the cycle of 'miserable leadership'

'We do not accept any abuse in this kitchen.'

Millennial dad of 3 unloads on boomer parents over their unreasonable holiday plans

The super interesting reason why people in the past looked so much older than people today

People from other countries share 14 things that instantly tell them someone's American

The one sign that someone is highly intelligent, according to literary genius Leo Tolstoy

'SAHMs Listen up!': Texas UPS driver has blunt message about entitlement and stay-at-home moms

Older people get real about what it's like to move into a retirement community

We have a small favor to ask of you

leadership

"Gen X, I didn’t forget you, even if the rest of the world has."

Millennials are the "middle child" of history.

What type of generation are the millennials?

We all do it, but it might be watering down what we're really trying to say.

Plus, the one simple sentence to use instead.

But according to organizational psychologist and bestselling author Adam Grant, the compliment sandwich “doesn’t taste as good as it looks.”

Knowing the compliments are obligatory can actually make someone take the criticism ever more personally.

“I’m giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I know that you can reach them.”

The point is focusing on helping someone improve, rather than attacking or patronizing them.

We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.

30 women who own businesses that make more than $5 million in annual revenues, and the discussions were very revealing.

'We do not accept any abuse in this kitchen.'