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After a story about a boy bringing lunch for his classmate went viral, Reddit responded.

Josette Duran didn't expect her story of kindness, compassion, and sandwiches to go viral, but it's not hard to see why it did.

A bagged lunch. Photo by Henry Kellner/Wikimedia Commons.

In early September, Duran's son Dylan asked her if she would start packing him two lunches to take to school. Worried she wasn't feeding him enough, Dylan quickly laid those concerns to rest.

"Mom it's for this boy," Josette wrote on her Facebook page, recalling her conversation with her son. "He only eats a fruit cup for lunch can you make him lunch too? I don't think he has lunch money."

Josette told ABC News that she sent Dylan to school with extra sandwiches, yogurt, and chips for two months. When the boy's mother found out, she asked the school to call Josette so she could thank her in person and offer to reimburse her — but Josette said she declined.

"This hits home to me because a few years ago, me and my son were homeless," Josette said. "I was living in my car, I was washing him in bathrooms, and we didn’t have food."

The story was posted to Reddit, where it received hundreds of comments. One user recalled how their parents helped feed their friends when they were in grade school.

"My mom gave me $3 for lunch every day, which was $3 more than my best friend's mom gave him. That was enough to buy a Pizza Hut personal pizza, so we shared one of those every single day at lunch. I never thought about it much back then — I shared with him like I shared with my brothers, it was a given — but when we were in our 40s he told me how much it meant to him that I shared my lunch with him every day. He told me that he loved my mom and dad because they took care of him too. That meant the world to me."

Another jumped in to say "thank you" to the classmates who fed him.

"Coming from a guy that has a best friend that did this for me. Thank you. He saw it as nothing as well, I can never repay him for how much it meant to me. Even when my mother kicked me out at 16, I lived in his backyard in a tent and every time his father would leave, I would come in to eat, shower etc. He's still my best friend 28 years later and one of the only dudes I truly love to death."

One wondered why there isn't a better system in place to provide food for children whose parents are struggling.

Photo via iStock.

"My mom paid for my best friends lunch for 3 years in middle school because her parents believed that she didn't get hungry at school (read: they didn't give a shit about her). It's so sad to me that so many children don't get lunches at school. There really needs to be a system that will give a hungry child food no matter what. The kids can't help it if their parents don't feed them/make sure they get a lunch."

In response, a redditor recalled the shame that led them to lean on their friends for help.

"I knew we didn't have money so I never told my mom when I ran out of lunch money. One time I racked up a negative bill so bad they were going to not let me eat school lunch and they finally called my mom. When she came to pick me up she was crying at my school because she couldn't afford to pay it (she was working full time and didn't qualify for free lunch). My friends mom saw and paid it off plus added a chunk of money to it. I wasn't old enough to really appreciate the gesture, so I never said thanks. Will you tell your mom I said thanks, she didn't help me specifically but she helped somebody in the same situation so it might as well have been me."

One had a story about settling lunch debts for kids who owed the school:

"My son's school would literally give the students two packages of crackers (not cheese or peanut butter crackers, just regular crackers) and a carton of milk. Fortunately, my son never had to worry about that, but when I found out about it I started going into the school every month and paying up all the late accounts. It wasn't a major amount (the most I ever paid was around $23), but I couldn't bare the thought of one of these elementary kids eating that for lunch.
It really pissed me off that in the US we still have kids that are treated like that."

Which inspired another user to take action:

"I had a single mom, so we were poor when we were growing up. So poor that I actually feel guilty (I don't quite know how to describe the feeling but guilty is pretty close) that I'm married and that my child can grow up in a financially stable home.
I didn't know you could settle other children's lunch debts, and this is something that I want to do when it's time for my child to go to school. I'm glad I found out about this, thank you."

According to USDA, food insecurity affected at least 7 million American children in 2015.

Like the Reddit users who saw themselves in Josette and Dylan's story, these children lack access to affordable, nutritious food, they skip a meal every now and again to save money for other essentials, and others live in deep poverty.  

Like the Durans' Albuquerque school, many lunchrooms allow students to take a meal and pay later, but those who do accrue debt with the cafeteria frequently face stigma from peers and teachers. Some report feeling singled out when cafeteria workers remind them to pay. Others recall embarrassing lectures from school officials, and still others report having their lunches thrown away in front of them.

Some cities are trying to take the burden away from parents by stepping up to fill the holes in the USDA's National School Lunch Program, the main federal program that subsidizes meals for schoolchildren.

In 2014, New York City began offering free lunch — previously only available to the city's poorest children — to all middle school students. Baltimore followed suit in 2015.

New York City First Lady Chirlane McCray eating lunch with fifth-graders in 2014. Photo by Susan Watts-Pool/Getty Images.

Meanwhile, some in Congress are trying to make it harder for schools to serve students across the board.

In 2010, Congress — with wide bipartisan support — passed a bill establishing a "community eligibility" standard for school districts wishing to serve breakfast and lunch to their students at no cost. Under the provision, students would no longer have to apply for free meals individually by household. Instead, meals would be subsidized for the entire student body based on the district's level of need — determined by its percentage of at-risk students.

A bill introduced in April by Rep. Todd Rokita of Indiana seeks to limit the program and make fewer schools eligible — by raising the threshold of needy students required for schools to qualify from 40% to 60%.

There are a lot of hungry kids in America, and — unfortunately — a limited number of parents like Josette Duran.

Individual efforts to pay it forward are heartwarming. They're inspiring. And they only go so far. Feeding all of America's kids means supporting policies that expand benefits for children like that boy in Albuquerque — and the politicians who expand those benefits.

Students eat free breakfast at Holy Ghost Elementary School in Dubuque, Iowa, which recently qualified for federal community eligibility assistance. Photo by AP Photo/Telegraph Herald, Jessica Reilly.

Ensuring one child doesn't go hungry might take a concerned friend, a nosy neighbor, or a vigilant school.

Ensuring no child goes hungry? That takes all of us.

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Under or over? There actually is a 'right' way to hang a toilet paper roll.

The debate is settled, once and for all.

Elya/Wikimedia Commons

Should you hang the toilet paper roll over or under?

Humans have debated things large and small over the millennia, from democracy to breastfeeding in public to how often people ought to wash their sheets. But perhaps the most silly-yet-surprisingly heated household debate is the one in which we argue over which way to hang the toilet paper roll.

The "over or under" question has plagued marriages and casual acquaintances alike for over 100 years, with both sides convinced they have the soundest reasoning for putting their toilet paper loose end out or loose end under. Some people feel so strongly about right vs. wrong TP hanging that they will even flip the roll over when they go to the bathroom in the homes of strangers.

Contrary to popular belief, it's not merely an inconsequential preference. According to health experts and the man who invented the toilet paper roll, there is actually a "correct" way to hang toilet paper.

What is the correct way to hang a roll of toilet paper?

First, let's be clear about what we're even talking about here with a visual. In the image below, left is "over" and right is "under."

toilet paper, bathrooms, over or under, toilet roll, bathroom etiquetteToilet paper hung "over" (left) and "under" (right)Elya/Wikimedia Commons


So which one is the right way? According to health experts, "over" is the way to go.

"One key to maintaining a hygienic washroom is minimising contact between people and surfaces," Dr. Christian Moro, associate professor of health sciences and medicine at Bond University on Australia's Gold Coast, told Australian Broadcasting Corporation. "Depending on the type of roll holder, [hanging the toilet paper "over"] often lowers the chance that a user will touch the wall behind when fishing for paper, leaving germs behind on that surface which can be spread to the next user."

Picture it: Grabbing the end of the toilet paper when it's hung "over" means you only touch the part of the toilet paper you're going to use. When it's "under," you sometimes have to fish for it or scrape your fingers on the wall in order to grab the loose end. In addition to whatever might be on people's hands already, think about all the people who wipe twice, potentially transferring fresh fecal matter or other bacteria to the wall on the second pass, which then get picked up by other people who inadvertently touch that wall when trying to grab their TP.

Theoretically, we all should have become better hand washers during the pandemic, scrubbing with soap for the full 20 seconds it takes to remove bacteria. But I wouldn't be willing to bet on it.

toilet paper, empty toilet paper roll, batthroom, bathroom etiquette, over or underEmpty toilet paper roll.via Canva/Photos

And touching any surface in a bathroom is pretty nasty, according to a study from the University of Colorado. As Inc. reported: "Using a high-tech genetic sequencing tool, researchers identified 19 groups of bacteria on the doors, floors, faucet handles, soap dispensers, and toilets of 12 public restrooms in Colorado — six men’s restrooms and six women’s restrooms. Many of the bacteria strains identified could be transmitted by touching contaminated surfaces."

Bacteria means things like e.coli, which is a common source of food poisoning and one of the most common bacteria found on bathroom surfaces in the study. If you've ever had a bout of food poisoning, I'm sure you'll agree that a toilet paper roll hanging preference isn't worth risking it.

But sanitary health concerns aren't the only argument for the "over" camp. After all, the original patent for the toilet paper roll, issued in 1891, clearly shows the TP in the "over" position. Thank you for the clarity right from the get go, Mr. Wheeler.

toilet paper, bathrooms, over or under, toilet roll, bathroom etiquetteThe toilet paper roll was patented by Seth Wheeler in 1891.Public Domain


In Wheeler's patent, the perforated toilet paper hangs on a roll in the "over" position. In the words of the patent, the sheets of TP are “partially separated, having their points of attachment arranged in a novel manner, whereby each sheet will easily separate from the series as it is drawn from the roll, there being no litter occasioned, and any waste of paper is thereby prevented.”

Now, before the "under" folks come running with their pitchforks, there are some understandable exceptions to the "over" rule. Namely: cats and kids.

If you have a furry friend or a tiny toddler who likes to unroll the toilet paper roll, "over" makes it super fun for them, while "under" stops them in their tracks. For many people, cats and kids are the primary motivator of their TP hanging habits.

That doesn't change the fact that "over" is actually the "correct" way to hang toilet paper according to health science and the inventor's intention, of course, but "under" is certainly preferable to having a pile of TP on the floor.

Now go forth, do that with information as you will, and try to make peace with your over vs. under rivals.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Education

Billionaire Mark Cuban reveals the secret to his success comes down to one simple habit

It's all about your mindset.

via Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons

Mark Cuban speaking at a business roundtable hosted by the Kamala Harris for President campaign at Ocotillo in Phoenix, Arizona on October 19, 2024.

Knowledge is one of the only things people can’t take from you. You can lose your possessions, relationships, and money, but what’s between your ears is pretty much forever. The great thing is that we can continue learning new skills and information throughout our lives. However, some folks get stuck because they feel they don’t have the drive to learn new skills or the ability to develop them. A lot of the time, these barriers were built by our own design.

Billionaire Mark Cuban says the key to success is the ability to continue evolving and learning new skills. Cuban is an entrepreneur, investor, owner of the Dallas Mavericks, and star of ABC's Shark Tank. In a 2021 interview with Men's Health, he explained the secret to his success.

What's the secret to Mark Cuban’s success?

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

"When you’re first starting—you may or may not have a job, you don’t have any money, you’re [uncertain] about your career. What I learned early on is that if I put in the effort, I can learn almost anything. It may take me a long time, but by putting in the effort, I taught myself technology. I taught myself to program. It was time-consuming—painfully so—but that investment in myself has paid dividends for the rest of my life. And the fact that I recognized that learning was truly a skill, and that by continuing to learn to this day, I'm able to compete and keep up and get ahead of most people. Because the reality is most people don't put in the time to keep up and learn, and that's always given me a competitive advantage.”


The empowering thing about Cuban’s advice is that it can help just about anyone, regardless of their economic status. In most cases, people can teach themselves valuable skills that can help them get a job or go out on their own with very little, if any, money. The key is to believe in yourself enough that you can learn the skill and to persevere, no matter the setbacks.

The problem is that we often hold ourselves back by telling ourselves that we aren’t smart enough or don’t have the talent to learn certain skills. When, in reality, we have everything we need to learn something new, we’ve just talked ourselves out of it.

What is a growth mindset?

Carol Dweck, a researcher who focuses on human motivation, says that it all comes down to whether we have a fixed or growth mindset. Those who have a fixed mindset and have a hard time picking up new skills believe that their skill set cannot be improved. They may think they're good at athletics but aren’t great at math, so they stick to sports instead of teaching themselves how the stock market works.

new skill, labor, woman in hard hat, drill press, factoryA woman in a hard hat.via Canva/Photos

However, other people, such as Cuban, have a growth mindset and believe they can expand and change beyond how they see themselves in the current moment. “There’s another mindset in which these traits are not simply a hand you’re dealt and have to live with, always trying to convince yourself and others that you have a royal flush when you’re secretly worried it’s a pair of tens,” Dweck writes in Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. “The hand you’re dealt is just the starting point for development. This growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts.

Dweck believes that we can break into a growth mindset by harnessing the power of “not yet.” Let’s say you’ve always wanted to play guitar but told yourself that you’re “not musical,” so you haven’t picked up the instrument. The key is to say to yourself, “I’m not yet musical, but I have an eye on the goal of becoming so."

Adopting the “not yet” mentality helps you understand you're on a learning curve. "It gives you a glimpse into the future," Dweck said. Learn more about developing a growth mindset and achieving your goals in her TED Talk, “The Power of Believing That You Can Improve,” posted below:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

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Mental Health

Motivation expert explains how two simple words can free you from taking things personally

You don't need to take responsibility for everything and everyone.

via TEDx SF/Flickr and TEDx SF/Flickr

Mel Robbins making a TED Talk.

Towards the end of The Beatles’ illustrious but brief career, Paul McCartney wrote “Let it Be,” a song about finding peace by letting events take their natural course. It was a sentiment that seemed to mirror the feeling of resignation the band had with its imminent demise.

The bittersweet song has had an appeal that has lasted generations, and that may be because it reflects an essential psychological concept: the locus of control. “It’s about understanding where our influence ends and accepting that some things are beyond our control,” Jennifer Chappell Marsh, a marriage and family therapist, told The Huffington Post. “We can’t control others, so instead, we should focus on our own actions and responses.”

This idea of giving up control (or the illusion of it) when it does us no good was perfectly distilled into two words that everyone can understand: "Let Them." This is officially known as the “Let Them” theory. Podcast host, author, motivational speaker and former lawyer Mel Robbins explained this theory perfectly in a vial Instagram video posted in May 2023.

“I just heard about this thing called the ‘Let Them Theory,’ I freaking love this,” Robbins starts the video.

“If your friends are not inviting you out to brunch this weekend, let them. If the person that you're really attracted to is not interested in a commitment, let them. If your kids do not want to get up and go to that thing with you this week, let them.” Robbins says in the clip. “So much time and energy is wasted on forcing other people to match our expectations.”

“If they’re not showing up how you want them to show up, do not try to force them to change; let them be themselves because they are revealing who they are to you. Just let them – and then you get to choose what you do next,” she continued.

The phrase is a great one to keep in your mental health tool kit because it’s a reminder that, for the most part, we can’t control other people. And if we can, is it worth wasting the emotional energy? Especially when we can allow people to behave as they wish and then we can react to them however we choose?

@melrobbins

Stop wasting energy on trying to get other people to meet YOUR expectations. Instead, try using the “Let Them Theory.” 💥 Listen now on the #melrobbinspodcast!! “The “Let Them Theory”: A Life Changing Mindset Hack That 15 Million People Can’t Stop Talking About” 🔗 in bio #melrobbins #letthemtheory #letgo #lettinggo #podcast #podcastepisode

How you respond to their behavior can significantly impact how they treat you in the future.

It’s also incredibly freeing to relieve yourself of the responsibility of changing people or feeling responsible for their actions. As the old Polish proverb goes, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”

“Yes! It’s much like a concept propelled by the book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k.’ Save your energy and set your boundaries accordingly. It’s realizing that we only have “control” over ourselves and it’s so freeing,” one viewer wrote.

“Let It Be” brought Paul McCartney solace as he dealt with losing his band in a very public breakup. The same state of mind can help all of us, whether it’s dealing with parents living in the past, friends who change and you don’t feel like you know them anymore, or someone who cuts you off in traffic because they’re in a huge rush to go who knows where.

The moment someone gets on your nerves and you feel a jolt of anxiety run up your back, take a big breath and say, “Let them.”

let them theory, let it be, paul mccartney, the beatles, exhalethe beatles wave GIFGiphy

This article originally appeared last year.

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Celebrity

Actor Neal McDonough brings cowboy grit and faith to the silver screen in 'The Last Rodeo'

"My faith has a huge part in everything that I do," McDonough tells Upworthy.

Courtesy of Angel Studios

Actor Neal McDonough stars in the new Angel Studios movie 'The Last Rodeo'.

Actor Neal McDonough is finally a leading man in his most recent film, The Last Rodeo. Released by Angel Studios (known for the 2023 hit film Sound of Freedom), its the third film McDonogh has starred in with the company, including The Shift (2023) and Homestead (2024).

McDonough, 59, produced and co-wrote the film alongside his writing partner Derek Presley. Once the film was given the greenlight, he knew there was only one director he wanted behind the camera: Jon Avnet.

“he Last Rodeo is really our baby,” McDonough tells Upworthy. “(Avnet) took a chance on me in Boomtown 25 years ago, took another chance on me in Justified, took another chance on me in 88 Minutes with Al Pacino,” he says, adding that he will “get choked up” if he keeps talking about the greatness of Avnet and the work he did with the story and imagery.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

McDonough plays a retired bull rider named Joe Wainwright, whose legendary career ended after a severe neck and back injury in a riding accident. When Wainright’s grandson is diagnosed with a brain tumor, he chooses to exit retirement and undergo a Rocky-esque training journey to compete in the Professional Bull Riding (PBR) Legends Championship with hopes of winning the million dollar prize to help pay for his grandson’s treatment. (McDonough’s wife, Ruvé, also stars in the film as his wife, Rose.)

“If you love bull riding, you’re going to lose your mind when you see this,” says McDonough.

Avnet praised McDonough for his grit and determination to bring a broken character to screen as a leading man. “I believed he was the successor to Clint Eastwood, Gary Cooper, John Wayne–pick ‘em,” Avnet tells Upworthy. “Neal has played villains and tough characters most of his life, and he does it as well as anybody.

McDonough notes that The Last Rodeo touches on “the fractured relationships that we all go through in life and how we mend and build them back up through strength and faith.”

Known for his Christian faith (“God first, me second. Family first, me second,” he explains), McDonough references how real-life career setbacks and struggles that impacted his role in The Last Rodeo.

“Years ago I went through a very hard thing where I wouldn’t do intimate scenes in a show and I got fired. For two years I was just wallowing in self pity and drinking way too much whiskey, making it selfishly about my pain and torture–not realizing that I was really hurting my wife and my kids at the same time,” he says. “I thought I was masking it. I didn’t think anyone knew. But it’s easy when everyone sees your house being taken away from you, your car’s being taken away–everyone knows that you’re struggling. I just wouldn’t admit it.”

One day he said to God, “Why have you forgotten all about me?” And within minutes, it was clear that He hadn’t. McDonough received a call from Avnet asking him to play the bad guy that season in Justified, changing the trajectory of his Hollywood career.

“Ever since that moment, I have taken every role that I’ve had and treated it like a heavyweight championship. This is my prize fight. This is my big shot. I’m not going to let anybody down. And that’s my work ethic when it comes to doing film. So my faith has a huge part in everything that I do. Everything that I write, everything that I act in.”

That determination came with him to set. In The Last Rodeo, McDonough also shares his first onscreen kiss with wife Ruvé, making a full-circle moment.

“Our goal was not to make a faith-based film. It was to make a great film,” McDonough says. “That being said, we wanted to have a backdrop of not just bull riding, but a backdrop of faith. It’s not over the top or too preachy. It doesn’t matter if you’re Christian, Jewish, Agnostic, Muslim, Buddhist–we want you to go to the theater and watch a great film."

The film opened in theatres over Memorial Day weekend, earning nearly $7 million at the box office. It is currently playing in select theatres. Check here for showtimes here.

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Mental Health

Psychologist Carl Jung believed these five specific things will lead you to a happier life

"Happiness is such a remarkable reality that there is nobody who does not long for it."

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A happy woman in a field.

If you've ever taken the Myers-Briggs personality assessment (ENFJ here), you've had at least a splash of Jungian psychology. Some of it's rather complicated, involving one's shadow selves and emotions—which tracks, as Jung was a complicated thinker.

When it comes to having a fulfilled life, Jung's baseline is actually quite simple: he believed there were five essential elements for a life of contentment.

As part of the Happiness Project, celebrated author Gretchen Rubin relayed Jung's "key elements to happiness" on Psychology Today in 2012. She shares that journalist Gordon Young asked Jung in 1960, "What do you consider to be more or less basic factors making for happiness in the human mind?"

carl jung, happiness, psychologist, therapy, psychologyA portrait of Carl Jung.en.m.wikipedia.org

These were Jung's answers:.

1. "Physical and mental health."

This might seem like a no-brainer, but much like fellow psychologist Abraham Maslow's well-known Hierarchy of Needs, there must be a basic ground floor under us to secure a road to happiness. For Maslow, it was labeled "physiological" at the bottom of a pyramid—meaning the ability to breathe, eat, and drink water. Basic elements to stay alive. Jung added to "physical health" or basic mental health such as a functioning mind that allows an individual to wake up and function, even at the most elementary level.

2. "Good personal and intimate relationships, such as those of marriage, the family, and friendships."

Again, similar to Maslow's third rung on the hierarchy pyramid, connection is key, no matter what form it takes. Getting along with people in your life—your spouse, parents, friends—brings happiness. Maslow called it love. Jung called it "intimate."

3. "The faculty for perceiving beauty in art and nature."

This one deviates from Maslow a bit. Jung stressed the importance of keeping a sense of wonder about the universe by seeing beauty in the world around you, especially in nature. Just as important as beauty in nature, though, is beauty also in the art (music, paintings, dance, literature) created by those around us.

4. "Reasonable standards of living and satisfactory work."

Here, Jung suggests that one's home and workplace be "reasonable and satisfactory." Some may argue to aim higher, but Jung is essentially saying that without these basic building blocks met, there's little chance of achieving happiness.

5. "A philosophic or religious point of view capable of coping successfully with the vicissitudes of life."

Here is where Jung lines back up with Maslow. One doesn't have to be religious, but having some sort of philosophical lens to think about the "bigger picture" of life is important in terms of happiness. For Maslow, this was described as self-actualization, but Jung focused it more on how one "copes" with unanswered questions and our place in the vast universe.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Of course, even Jung himself tinkered with these ideas until he passed. It's hard to sum up "happiness" in a way that applies to every single human's needs. Jung famously stressed that happiness can't be defined without also understanding sadness.

A thread on Reddit entitled "Do you agree with Jungian 5 pillars of a fulfilled life?" had people thinking.

One commenter believes looking outward could be helpful:

"I think another crucial thing for me would be knowing that I helped people or even humanity throughout my life. I think if everyone would try to understand other people more and help them, then we would have a better world."

This Redditor agreed, saying, "I would add activities which contribute meaningfully to society as the second most important pillar after health."

Another adds that these pillars change as we age:

"I agree that those are desirable things, but they also fluctuate throughout our lives—poor health can come and go, as can relationships, standards of living, and jobs. We can lose them and find them again and still have a life that is fulfilling or not, largely depending on our mental outlook."

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